How To Win Valentine’s Day

Win Valentines Day

Valentine’s day can bring a lot of feelings, one of them I can relate to is…SHAME 

I’m Not a big holiday guy?

Every time, V-day rolled around I would feel shame, maybe you also feel the same thing and say:

  • I’m not good enough
  • I’m Unworthy
  • I’m Unloveable
  • I wasn’t in a relationship when everyone else was

It wasn’t that I wasn’t in a relationship, I was just like NOPE I JUST DON’T DATE

I felt inferior to everyone, I felt like they had figured out something I couldn’t figure out.

It would always create pain, and what I realized was the shame wasn’t from what I thought it was from!

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Hey! Welcome to today’s episode of the show. Today, it’s going to be all about Valentine’s Day. Oh yes! Valentine’s Day. Now, I don’t know where you’re at, in fact that’s what we are going to discover in today’s episode. What your status is in relationships. Not just whether you’re single or in a relationship, but mentally, what your status is in relationships.

If you’re anything like me, Valentine’s Day can mean a whole lot, or a whole little. You might not care at all, you may not even know that it was Valentine’s Day. Or you might hate it, you might have a charge against it, you might love it. Maybe you love to go buy gifts or chocolates, or receive, or something, I don’t know. So whatever it is, let’s talk about it though because I spent many years of my life feeling shame on Valentine’s Day. So I thought it was important to address because you might relate to this. But I am not a big holiday guy, I don’t really super care about a lot of the main holidays, whether it’s, in the United States, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Fourth of July, I don’t know. I liked to light fireworks when I was a kid. And I liked to get gifts on Christmas, even though our family wasn’t even Christian. We we’re just… American culture man— you by gifts. But in any case, I wasn’t a big holiday guy. I’m not really, to this day. And especially not something like Valentine’s Day where it’s kind of like fabricated by Hallmark. But nonetheless, every time Valentine’s Day would roll around for many years in my life, I would feel shame. The reason I felt shame, a sense of I’m not good enough, I am unworthy, I’m unlovable, was because I wasn’t in a relationship. And not only was I not in a relationship but I was not even close to a relationship. It wasn’t like, “Oh yeah I’m in between relationships right now,” it was like, “No, I just don’t date. I just don’t have relationships.” And so I’d feel really bad about myself. I’d feel inferior to everyone who I thought could somehow figure something out, that I couldn’t figure out. So this holiday ended up causing a lot of pain whenever it came around, especially if someone were to ask me, “Dude, who are you dating?” I’ll be like, “uhhhh…” And I tried all sorts of things, usually just trying to get out of the conversation, or change the subject as quickly as possible. I didn’t like making stuff up because it just felt so bad, felt even worse, so I usually wouldn’t do that, although I tried a few times. It was just overall uncomfortable. But it had nothing to do with Valentine’s Day, did it? It never does. It never has anything to do with the outside thing that we’re pointing fingers at, does it? No, it’s all about me. It’s all about my internal experience of relationship, and specifically my status in relationship. And that’s what I want to explore with you, starting today, in this episode.

By the way, if you’re enjoying this and benefiting a ton from these episodes, that’s awesome, because that’s my point. And if you would like to do me a favor in return, I would much appreciate it. Just go to the iTunes… wherever you found this podcast, and give it a review, because that’s going to help me in my mission to end criticism, fear, self-doubt, social anxiety, and replace it in the world with confidence, boldness, authenticity, power, humor, and love. So I would love that. And your support in my mission there.

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Celebrate Your Success To Maximize Your Confidence

Celebrate Your Success

**IT’S TIME TO CELEBRATE!!!**

150th Episode of This SHOW!

Thank you for being with me, and writing in and asking questions, sharing your stories.

It’s all about learning and growing together!

Learn How to Celebrate Your Successes- It’s a thing you can do, a habit you can start!

The thing I have seen over and over of things that have grown the most is they start with HABITSSimple practices that if we integrate just a few of them in our day we will see the change.
Click below to hear this episode!

Hey everybody. Welcome to today’s episode of the show. Today is a special day because it is the 150th episode of this show. And that doesn’t include bonus episodes and Ask The Shrinks and other things. That’s just full episodes that we’ve done. And that’s super exciting.

When I first started this, I had no idea how long I would do it, or how many people I would reach, I just wanted to share. I would have these sessions with clients that were life transforming for them. And for me, taking all those insights, and to see how people can shift. Maybe if they find a way to let something go, or to see themselves differently, or if they just acknowledged their strengths, or if they just let go of this one idea, their confidence in the situation skyrockets. Here’s how people can deal with this thing that used to plague me for ten years. And it’s one thing to shift in myself, that was life transforming, but then to be able to see how to help other people do it, it was so exciting and I wanted to share it. I didn’t want it to be just between me and this one other person, like a secret. I wanted to get it out there. Into the world in a bigger way, and that’s what I’ve been doing these last 3 years with this show and beyond, and the years that I’ve been doing the center for social confidence.

I’m super excited to be doing this, and to have you on this journey with me. Whether this is your 2nd episode, or your 30th episode, your 100th episode, or your 150th! Maybe you’ve been here the whole time. In any case, thank you for being with me and maybe even for writing in and asking me questions or sharing your story, your successes, your challenges, because that’s what this is all about. We’re here to help each other grow, and I grow a ton by doing this show, and by hearing what people are going through, and finding ways to help even more. So I’m super excited about that, and we want to use this celebration of our 150th episode as the focus for the show, which is about celebrating your successes to maximize your confidence.

It’s a super simple practice, habit, thing, that we can all do that brings more and more confidence. But it doesn’t if we don’t practice it. As I’ve been doing this more and more and seeing people that I’ve worked with, and people who go to my programs, or the weekends with the group programs or coaching with me, I get a chance to see more information about: “How does this work really on a mass scale?” And “Who really gets this quickly?”, and “Who gets a little more confident?”, and “Who doesn’t get really much anything at all?”
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Fearless Social Confidence With Patrick King (Part 2)

Fearless Social Confidence

 

Unlock The Secrets Of Fearless Social Confidence

Listen in and learn some extreme strategies and tools to activate social confidence.

He is awesome at helping people realize YOU CAN SHIFT THIS!

If you aren’t great talking to people, YOU CAN BECOME GREAT AT TALKING TO PEOPLE.  If you are nervous and get anxiety around people, YOU CAN BE EXTREMELY RELAXED AND COMFORTABLE in your own skin.

Click below to hear this episode!

Patrick KingPatrick King is an internationally bestselling author and Social Interaction Specialist and Conversation Coach based in San Francisco, California.

He is a former corporate lawyer, ex-dating coach, above all else, late bloomer. He started as a self-proclaimed paralyzed social recluse and knows social life from both sides of the tracks – precisely the reason he’s such an effective speaker and coach.
He focuses on using his unique emotional intelligence and understanding of human interaction to break down emotional barriers, instill confidence, and equip people with the tools they need for success.
When he’s not helping clients conquer the world, he’s either fronting an 80′s cover band or training for his next 10k.

Fearless Social Confidence (Part 1) with Patrick King

Fearless Social Confidence

Patrick King is a MASTER AT CONVERSATIONS and wrote the book on Fearless Social Confidence.

Learn some extreme strategies and tools to activate social confidence.

He is awesome at helping people realize YOU CAN SHIFT THIS!

If you aren’t great talking to people, YOU CAN BECOME GREAT AT TALKING TO PEOPLE.  If you are nervous and get anxiety around people, YOU CAN BE EXTREMELY RELAXED AND COMFORTABLE in your own skin.

You can learn this and start applying these things today.
Click below to hear this episode!

Expert Interview

Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and Social Interaction Specialist and Conversation Coach based in San Francisco, California.

He is a former corporate lawyer, ex-dating coach, above all else, late bloomer. He started as a self-proclaimed paralyzed social recluse and knows social life from both sides of the tracks – precisely the reason he’s such an effective speaker and coach.
He focuses on using his unique emotional intelligence and understanding of human interaction to break down emotional barriers, instill confidence, and equip people with the tools they need for success.
When he’s not helping clients conquer the world, he’s either fronting an 80′s cover band or training for his next 10k.

Taking Control Of Conversations

27477868 - businessman is handing over a telephone receiver
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Music Credit

All music is licensed or royalty free.

Intro:
DeepSound – Rain Clouds
(Licensed through Pond5.com)

Ask The Shrink:
Boccherini Minuet
(Licensed through Pond5.com)

Action Step:
Justin Crosby – Skrillit
(Licensed through Pond5.com)

Outro:
Lokfield – Terra’s Theme Dubstep
soundcloud.com/lokfield
(Creative Commons License)

Create Everything You Want And More For 2017

Create Your Future

Are You Ready to Have the Best Year of Your LIFE

You can make it the best year of your life, it is you that can make that happen.

CREATE EVERYTHING YOU WANT

You are the creator in your life…you create your circumstances, you create your relationships, you create your experiences.

YOU CREATE EVERYTHING
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Welcome to today’s episode of the show, and happy New Year. Welcome to 2017. 2017, quite possibly the best year of your life. I don’t know, maybe not. Maybe you’re like super hungover right now and you’re like, “That was the shittiest year of my life.” But let’s be open to it being the best year of your life. And this isn’t some fluffy inspirational… I’d talk where it’s just like, “Yeah! It’s the best year no matter what.” Well, no. You can make it the best year of your life, but it is you determining that, it is you deciding that, it is you committing to that and it is you doing what it takes to make that happen. And that’s what this episode is all about which is creating everything you want and more for 2017. And that language is chosen specifically. Create everything you want because you are the creator in your life. You are not the victim of circumstance.

You create your circumstance, you create your life, you create your relationships, you create the success that you want. You create wealth, you create romantic love, you create friendships. You create everything. And right now, if certain areas are not where you want them to be, then you haven’t created it yet. And that’s true for all of us, right? None of us are at a 100% mastery of every area of life all the time. And so, we need to invest more energy and learn how to create what we want in that area. But all of the areas are important. If you’re listening to this show and you are struggling or wanting more— to be more free, less social anxiety, less self-doubt, less self-criticism, more confidence, more freedom, more boldness, more authenticity. I know it’s going to show up in every area of life. Because confidence is the doorway to success in all areas, of course in your relationships: Your social relationships with family, with friends, with colleagues, with co-workers, with bosses, with employees, as well as in your dating life in your romantic relationships.

Your ability to meet and date people that excite you— to freely be yourself. If what you want is to find someone to create an extraordinary life with, which I think deep down many of us want— you might want a phase of sowing your wild oats and dating tons of people— but I think deep down a lot of people eventually want to have an extraordinary relationship. I know it’s not for everybody. But I think the reason that a lot of people say they don’t want that is because they don’t think it’s possible. They think that relationships don’t last, that the love fades, that it just goes south quickly and etc. And I don’t believe that. These are the core areas that matter in life. And so this episode is about creating everything you want and more for 2017, and that’s what we’re going to do.

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Now Is The Time

The Time Is Now
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As we approach the New Year we are going take a look back at the last year, to reflect on where we have been with what we have learned, what successes we have had and to take the opportunity to take a look forward to look at what we want to create in our lives in 2017.

You may think, I don’t want to take a look back, it wasn’t a great year, but there are so many excuses that we tell ourselves, there are so many places that we have resigned ourselves or have settled on something.

WHERE HAVE YOU SETTLED?

Is it in your Relationships:

  • Friendships
  • Coworkers
  • Career Influence
  • Dating Life

There are so many places that we settle telling ourselves that is how it is for me, nothing can change for me, nope, not me…

I’m…

MESSED UP
WIERD
NOT SMART ENOUGH
NOT ATTRACTIVE ENOUGH

For what I want…

YOU ARE SELLING YOURSELF A STORY THAT YOU AREN’T ENOUGH

BUT, the good news is DISSATISFACTION IS WHAT MOVES US!!

 

Hey, welcome to another episode of the show. Today is the final episode of 2016. Oh yes, brings us to the end of the year. I don’t know how you feel about the end of the year, and about New Year’s and maybe you’re in holiday virtual coma from all the food and drink that you’ve had. Like, “Oh God thinking about New Year is exhausting.” I don’t know where you’re at. I personally love the new year. I love looking back at the last year, 2016 here, and seeing what I learned, what the challenges were, what the successes and wins were, how amazing the year was, and I’m looking forward to 2017 and seeing what I want to create. And we’re going to do some fun stuff with that in this episode and the next one.

To start though if you’ve been listening to this show, or this is your second episode, or maybe your 30th episode, if you’re enjoying it, if you’re benefiting from it, I want you to do me a favor. Go to iTunes or your podcast app or wherever you downloaded this from, and give the show a rating. Ideally a five-star rating. Assuming you think it deserves that. Which it does because it’s awesome. But giving it a great review, that supports me, that helps me in a ton of ways, because then I can reach more people which is my mission. I want to reach those people that are thinking that they’re stuck, that there’s something wrong with them, that they’re broken, and I want to reach them, and help them see, and like you, many people find me for the first time through the podcast. Also interestingly enough, once you have more reviews, then guests who you want to interview, other amazing people who can help us and learn, I can share their insights with you, they start to take you more seriously and are more willing to say yes to interviews, if they see that you have ton of reviews. So it will help me reach more people and it will help me get more amazing guests on this show. So it is a win win win and you feel good, because you help me out. So do that if you can, preferably now-ish.

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The Secret To Stop Needing Everyone’s Approval

Needing Approval
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Hello, welcome to another episode of the show. Today is going to be all about letting go of needing everyone’s approval. A power secret I want to share with you. It’s going to really help you stop feeling that craving, needing, I need this person to like me and then all of that fear that comes on top of that. So you might not even be aware right now of the needing everyone’s approval, you might just feel anxious around people or nervous around certain people, certain kinds of people. It maybe someone you find attractive or groups of people or powerful people or whatever it is. In those situations, you might feel anxious, self-conscious, observing yourself, judging yourself and you might not be aware of this or although you might be if you listen to a lot of the show, what’s underneath that is actually you needing everyone’s approval there.

So, we’re going to talk about that and then how to be free of that, a secret to stop being that. So, I’m excited. This is powerful stuff, fresh out of a Mastermind call we just had in my Unstoppable Confidence Mastermind. I love those calls. We dive in deep and really dig into the stuff. And this is one of the most powerful transforming calls that many people that week and then during the next call said, “Something shifted in me in a really significant way from being on that call.” So I thought, let’s take the best nuggets and share them with you for free. Oh yes and thanks for listening. If you are enjoying the show, please do me a favor and go to shrink for the … well, wherever you found this, on iTunes, something on your podcast search, you can even go to shrinkfortheshyguy.com and there’s a link there to go to iTunes but somewhere where you can leave the show a review, preferably a 5-star review but whatever you think it deserves but this will help me reach more people which is my goal.

And I, in the past, didn’t ask very much because it was of my own edge. It was uncomfortable but there’s a new chapter or there’s a chapter in my new book, I should say, The Art of Extraordinary Confidence which is called “asking” and it’s all about the power of asking. The more we ask for what we want, the more we get. And working, helping people work through all their discomfort and fear about asking. So it will be ironic if I was teaching that but then not doing it myself. So that’s my “ask,” if you’d like to give it a review. It can help me reach more people which is my goal. And let’s talk about how you can feel more comfortable, more relaxed, more powerful, more free around anyone. Are you ready? All right let’s do this.

So, when you’re feeling nervous around someone, usually you’re wanting something specific. You’re wanting them to like you, to laugh at your jokes, to smile, to be … think about that, there’s somebody you want whether it’s a beautiful woman you want to talk to you or a studly man or your boss at work or a new potential client or customer if you have your own business. And if you imagine that interaction going well, exactly how you’d want it to go, it’s probably going to involve them smiling or them laughing or them saying yes or something along those lines. And it doesn’t involve them shaking their head in confusion, having a grimace on their face and their mouth is all puckered up like they just smelled something terrible, right? That’s not the reaction that you want. So, at the core of it, we want approval, an approving energy toward this. Yes, I like you. You’re doing great. I want to help you. I want to buy from you. We want all the approving and we don’t want any of the disapproving.

To any situation where you’re nervous, just check right through your mind right now. Whose approval are you needing? If you’re nervous in a meeting at work, are you needing everyone’s approval or is it just one particular person, or a couple of people? And there’s some people there who you are like, “Man, I don’t care about them,” but some people, you’re like, “Oh, they better think I’m really smart or else…” and so smart. Their approval is kind of a vague or general term but there’s specific kinds of approving energy we want. We want people to think that we’re smart, that we’re funny, that we’re interesting, that we’re valuable, that we have something good to offer, that we’re worth whatever, love or attention or money or buying from us, hiring us. So, there’s specific instances in your life. I’m categorizing them all as approval right now. So here is the first problem, is trying to get that approval.

Here’s the thing, we all want it, of course right? That’s a human need. We’re social creatures. We want positive, harmonious interactions with each other. It feels good. It feels better when someone is smiling and laughing with you than when someone’s frowning and saying they don’t like you. That’s duh, so of course, we want the first one. But the problem is when we are trying to get it and on some level, we unconsciously feel like we need it or else, we’re not okay. And what this is like is, you have a cup inside of you and your cup is empty. And you’re going from interaction to interaction, conversation to conversation, potential dating partner to potential dating partner and you’re saying “Hey, can you put some water in my cup? Huh, you got a little water for me, please.”

And it’s hard, we don’t … there’s something about that. I mean as big as your heart is, as compassionate of a human as you are, when there’s that person who’s like asking something of you when you’re just walking to the store or walking down the street, isn’t there a part of you that like kind of doesn’t want to or just like, “I don’t want to deal with that or I don’t want to make eye contact with them or…” and sometimes maybe you give. And maybe you give generously but there’s something about that dynamic where it just doesn’t feel … you’re not like, “Hell yes. I’m excited to do it. And I feel great doing it,” usually, right? So there’s something about when we’re asking in that way and that kind of, “I need this.” There’s a little bit of a desperation or neediness to it and that is generally an unattractive energy. It’s an energy that we generally don’t respond well to. Maybe guilt or well, we do it to be nice but those are not great ways that we want people to respond to us. So, that is the first problem, this feeling like we’re needing it.

And this is especially important, I mean, in all areas of life but especially in dating and relationships. And so, we need to learn how to turn this around because if you approach women with that energy, which I did for many years, you just don’t get very good responses. They don’t really want to talk with you or they do but they’re just kind of friendly for a few minutes, but then don’t actually want to date you or they maybe … maybe they’ll go on one date but then don’t want more. I experienced all of those things and it was because I had this desperate kind of needy energy which tended to be very unattractive because I was needing her to approve of me. So if you relate to this, you’re probably human, we all do. And let’s talk about how to shift this, let’s talk about how to let go. So in the next segment, I’m going to share the secret to stop needing everyone’s approval. This is powerful. You’re going to want to listen to this.

So, what is the way out of this needing everyone’s approval? Well remember, I mentioned on the first part of the show about having a cup that’s empty and you’re going around trying to get people to fill it. So what you’re doing is you’re trying to get something from everyone that you meet, even if it’s subtle, even if you’re hiding it, you’re energetically trying to get something from them. And let me ask you this, when you’re going to talk to someone, are you going to be … let’s say it’s a total stranger, someone you’ve never met before. The only thing that you know right as they’re walking over towards you and so you could know this for certain, that you know that they’re going to try to get something from you or they’re going to try to give something to you, which one would you be more interested in? Well you’re probably like, “Well, it depends on what they’re trying to give me,” right? This is why I love this show being explicit because I can say this.

But have you seen that … it’s an older bit from Chris Rock where he talks about how behind everything that a man does when he’s interacting with a woman is he wants to have sex with her. And so he’s like buying her a drink and Chris Rock as like he’s saying, “Do you want a drink?” but what he’s really meaning is “Hey, do you want some dick?” So, if you’re listening, you’re probably like, “Well, it depends on what they want to give me,” but just in a general way, do you want to have someone trying to get something from you or someone who wants to give to you, to add to your life? And across the board, we as humans respond better to someone giving something to us than someone trying to get something. That doesn’t mean you can’t ask for what you want or any of those lines but in general, we want to come from an attitude of what can I give here rather than what can I get. So, when I hear of a client or a man who’s just emailing me or someone who’s like, “I want to get laid or I want to get a woman.”

And it’s like, “Okay, that might be part of your problem.” Not that you want sex or that you have sexual desire or not, there’s something wrong with that, I mean that way of you trying to have that in your life is going to be less effective. Some might say sub-optimal, not bad but sub-optimal. So the way out is to fill your cup and become the source of approval. You fill that cup and then your cup is full and so when you meet someone, it’s kind of spilling over. Hey I got something for you. Well, what is it that you have for them? You don’t have to give them money or time or you help them move or something. No, what you give them is approval, is attention and approval.

Now, approval doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything they say or approve of everything about them. It’s just in your energy, it’s in your eye contact, it’s in your attitude and it’s like, “Hey, you’re a valuable person. I’m going to engage with you. And I’m going to look at you. I’m going to talk with you, I’m going to give you my attention.” And when you’re looking for approval or how to give approval, you start to notice things differently. What do I like about this person? What’s funny about this person? How can I make this person laugh? How can I bring some joy or excitement or something fun to there, what’s a fun story I can share with them. Well, that’s an interesting question. I’m curious about that and I want to ask them. And you start to think in a totally different way. And you might be wondering, “Well, how do I fill my cup?” I mean that’s a vague … philosophically, it sounds good but how do I do that? Well, your cup is just love, man, right? And approval is just like a little form of love. So when your cup is empty, you’re trying to get that approval, you’re saying, “Hey, will you like me?” You’re devoid of liking, of love. So you need more love, that’s how you’re going to fill your cup. And how do you do that?

Well, first and foremost is transforming the way you relate to yourself, with self-love. And that is the biggest thing because that controls how you treat yourself, how you feel about yourself, how you interpret events in your life and whether you let them make you feel good or not and also how much you let in from others, because a lot of us have a little … like a little narrow straw, that’s the amount that we can let in of love from other people. It’s like a little tiny a bit, bit and we want to expand that. And one of the most powerful ways that I know how to do that would be through my program, The Confidence Code, which the whole first half of that program is about mastering your self-esteem, which then opens the doors for the second half of the program which is mastering conversation skills. But you can’t talk to people well if you don’t like yourself, if you don’t have that cup full. So, that’s a powerful way to start. You can go to yourconfidencecode.com and enter your email there to learn all about the program as well as I send you a free eBook as well.

So self-love, it’s how you fill the cup, other things that you do to just feel full of love. Maybe it’s time with your friends. I know for me, spending a couple hours or even longer with a good buddy that makes me laugh, man, I feel so charged up afterwards. I feel so full. My heart is full. My cup is full. Maybe even just interacting with people in the world around you instead of hiding from them and then closed off and don’t talk to me, just that casual interaction. Starting a conversation, asking them a question and you can actually fill the sense of fullness in you. But there’s something else that’s even more powerful and I want to take one more break here. I’m going to share it with you. So these are some general ways. We’re going to get to one very specific way that I think is going to turn everything around for you, around letting go of needing anyone’s approval.

So, here is a super powerful mindset or approach that’s really going to help you to stop needing everyone’s approval. Are you ready? And this is one of the specific things that came out of the Mastermind call I was mentioning earlier. Here is a powerful insight. Everyone needs love, everyone and you might … the way you’re holding it, you might see someone like beautiful woman or that successful business person or the person I want to be in the company or that really popular guy that everyone seems to like and wants to be his friend. You look at them as somehow different. Well, they don’t need love. They don’t need anything because they got it all going on. They got the money or they’re beautiful. They got attention or they’re popular but guess what, everyone needs love even that beautiful woman, even that powerful successful person, even that popular guy who’s got the friends and dresses cool and seems to have it all together. Because here’s the thing, deep down, who really loves themself 100% fully, unconditionally all the time? I mean that’s one of my goals in this life and I’m a perpetual student of that. That is not easy, that’s not just you flick a button and oh, I’m done forever. No, it’s a continual practice, right? And we keep learning deeper and deeper in more and more powerful ways to let go of conditional love, of judging ourselves, of being hard on ourselves, for our body or for a parent or for an outcome or anything. And we need to continue that practice but at the end of the day, everyone needs that love.

In fact, I used to do a lot of therapy back before I started coaching and I worked with all kinds of clients. And I worked in college settings and even high schools and then on to working with adults too and I ended up working with a number of very beautiful women. And guess what, tons of insecurity. In fact sometimes, some of these women were just so gorgeous but there was so much pain inside, so much comparing herself to other people and why this person is better than her or more attractive than her and so much … she would focus in on the negative parts of her body and hate them. And it’s remarkable because you’re like this is not what I would expect. This is someone who seems like they have it all together. So everyone needs love, everyone and when you know that and like you have something to give them, you don’t need to walk around being like, “I love everybody.” I mean maybe, maybe you’ll feel that way. I don’t know, but just more of like a little tone down, right? You can give approval to anyone, you can give them your attention. And you’ll know in the moment how it’s going to show up. You don’t have to pre-plan this, it’s an energy. It’s an attitude. It’s a place that you come from. What can I give here? How can I give love here? What do I love about this person? What do I like about this person? How can I compliment this person? How can I make this person laugh? And when you come from that, knowing deep down that everyone needs love, everyone’s vulnerable in that way, then unlock it’ll something powerful.

In fact, I touched on this in my book, The Art of Extraordinary Confidence which is awesome. You should pick up a copy. It’s available on Amazon and iTunes and Audible and get a Kindle paperback or audio version. And in there, I have a Hafiz poem which I’m going to read to you. One second, I’m going to grab the book right now. So, this Hafiz poem, if you don’t Hafiz, he’s a … I don’t know, 12th century or something Sufi poet and this poem is awesome that’s why I put in the book. So sit back, relax and listen to this.

With that moon language, admit something. Every one you see, you say to them love me. Of course you do not do this out loud otherwise, someone will call the cops. Still though, think about this, this great pull in us to connect. Why not become the one who lives with a full moon in each eye that is always saying with that sweet moon language what every other eye in this world is dying to hear. We all need love. We all want it. So, the most powerful way to stop needing everyone’s approval is to see that you were the source of approval. You’re not a beggar. You are the source. You have an unlimited source and the more you practice filling that cup, the more you can give it and the more you can give it, the more people are to drawn to you. The more magnetically charged you become. So that if you initiate, the person wants to talk with you back or the more you do this, you might even find people approaching you. People feel that energy and they’re drawn to you and it’s powerful.

Awesome and that, before we end though, we got to do one thing which is how you can turn it into action, that brings us to your action step.

Action Step

Your action step for today is to practice being the source of approval. So when you go out to work, to social situation, whatever you have going on today or the next day, say, “What if I were the source of approval,” and then practice being that. Interacting with someone and noticing how can I give them approval right now? Maybe in a very subtle way, maybe in a very casual way, maybe just with my attention and my eye contact, whatever it is, so holding it that way, you were the source. And noticing how that affects how you show up, what you say, what you do. If anxiety evaporates and confidence emerges, whatever your experiences with that, the key is to keep practicing it, becoming that source of approval. And then finding ways to fill up your own cup with self-love, time with friends, talking with people in the world around you whatever it is that fills you up. A hobby, something that you love, a walk in the woods, art, music whatever fills your cup up so that you can give that love and be amazed at the response you get. Because when you give in that way, life gives you everything you want back in return and more.

Thanks for being with me today. Thanks for listening and I commend you for your commitment to transform into growing your confidence to higher and higher levels. You are a brother or a sister on the path and I love and appreciate you. Thanks so much for being with me today and until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you’re awesome. Talk to you soon.

Music Credit

All music is licensed or royalty free.

Intro:
DeepSound – Rain Clouds
(Licensed through Pond5.com)

Ask The Shrink:
Boccherini Minuet
(Licensed through Pond5.com)

Action Step:
Justin Crosby – Skrillit
(Licensed through Pond5.com)

Outro:
Lokfield – Terra’s Theme Dubstep
soundcloud.com/lokfield
(Creative Commons License)

How To Attract Women, Naturally with Tripp Kramer (Part 2)

attractive man

Today we are diving into how be the kind of guy that women see as a MAN, as a SEXUAL PARTNER and someone THEY WANT TO BE WITH.

It’s not about all the eternal things that you may be stuck on such as; if only I had more money or if I was better looking.

We are digging deeper into how to become that attractive man by being you.

You can get this…you can get this by being you!

The key element that it takes is boldness and practice, it’s a skill that you can learn!
Click below to hear this episode!

Expert Interview

Tripp is one of the top dating coaches in the world and teaches men how to make themselves more attractive and date more beautiful women by reaching their potential through a combination of learning new skills and remaining their authentic selves.
He is the creator of Tripp Advice, a popular channel on YouTube that specializes in dating advice for men and “How To Talk To Girls”, a top dating advice podcast on iTunes and Stitcher

How To Attract Women, Naturally with Tripp Kramer (Part 1)

woman laughing wen men

Are you tired of trying things that don’t work? Do you feel stuck not knowing how to feel confident in your dating life?

Are you paralyzed by fear or self doubt?  Are you stuck in the friend zone?

Today we are talking with Tripp Kramer about how to be your most authentic self in dating and approaching women.

His approach is a down to earth, practical and basic system about what works.

Click below to hear this episode!

Expert Interview

Tripp is one of the top dating coaches in the world and teaches men how to make themselves more attractive and date more beautiful women by reaching their potential through a combination of learning new skills and remaining their authentic selves.
He is the creator of Tripp Advice, a popular channel on YouTube that specializes in dating advice for men and “How To Talk To Girls”, a top dating advice podcast on iTunes and Stitcher

Music Credit

All music is licensed or royalty free.

Intro:
DeepSound – Rain Clouds
(Licensed through Pond5.com)

Ask The Shrink:
Boccherini Minuet
(Licensed through Pond5.com)

Action Step:
Justin Crosby – Skrillit
(Licensed through Pond5.com)

Outro:
Lokfield – Terra’s Theme Dubstep
soundcloud.com/lokfield
(Creative Commons License)

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WHO AM I?

Hello! I'm Dr. Aziz. I spent a decade of my life stuck in shyness and social anxiety. I felt nervous and awkward in my own skin. I felt tight in my stomach and shoulders. I was scared about what others would think of me and avoided taking risks that could lead to embarrassment.
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